Saturday, January 31, 2009

Is it cold outside?



COLD IS A RELATIVE THING.....


65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People is Wisconsin sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Wisconsin get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Wisconsin let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Wisconsinites get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Wisconsin start saying....'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
....freezes over.
Wisconsin public schools will open 2 hours late.

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